The Baron's Fool
by A2D the Colourblind Zebra
Summary: A year after invading Sugar Rush, King Candy decides it's time to go to Tapper's, but there's a new game in the arcade and he meets a freaky floating jester head with a letter for a name and a great taste in colour schemes.


Another Wreck-It Ralph fic, and this time featuring the game that haunted my childhood holidays for a good 8 years. Until I got the nerve to play it when I was 13 and then it turned out the coin depositor was broken, and then when I went back the year after it was gone (I totally caused that game to be unplugged I'm a monster). Yes it's CarnEvil, a totally under appreciated game that needs more love (this game caused my morbid-ness, blame this game for how messed up I am), and was so unique at the time, now that I'm over my fear. So now I'm making up for the fact that I never played it by writing about it instead.

Cover art was coloured by me but drawn by the lovely TheCreatorsEye of Deviantart, she's really nice ^^ I'll try and put the link here but you know how is. I also used the name of the art as the fic title because I'm lazy, though I changed it to Baron because…just because.

thecreatorseye . /art /The-king-s-Fool-request-for-Attention2Detaille-37 0055281

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**The Baron's Fool**

**October 31****st**** 1998**

It was a teeny tiny bit indulgent, when he thought about it, but so what? It was a simple fact. Hot chocolate was good, but root beer was better.

For the first time in almost a year, King Candy tiptoed his way out from the Sugar Rush outlet. It felt surreal, but it was inevitable that he would eventually need to leave, even if just for an hour or two, and it wasn't like he hadn't the hours to waste.

The arcade had closed early for Halloween, half empty all day (though full candy diets were overrated, what were the gamers thinking, dedicating a whole night to dressing up and _hunting _for it?), and now with the Random Roster Race all finished (with him in first place, of course) there was no reason why he shouldn't venture outside. And by outside, he meant Tapper's. Where _else _was there to go?

In an old life it was routine, every day after racing it was off to Tapper's, something of a habit. He might make a habit of it again soon enough. It was nothing less than he deserved, after all.

After wandering along the four outlet gap between Sugar Rush and Tapper's he began to relax. This was going to be simple. No one would think anything of it, or of him, no one knew about the glitch, he would just have a drink or two - or ten - and then go back like nothing had happened and Sour Bill wouldn't need to concern himself with any of it.

The train pulled in from Tapper's when King Candy was getting within proper seeing distance of it, some people already leaving. The Random Roster Race had wasted a bit of time, so it made sense that it had already been visited since it opened. A little late, as he was about to step through, the little blue dragon from Q*Bert- Wrong-Way or something like that, fluttered past him from the train, chirping as though something very interesting had caught his eye.

Wrong-Way carried on, across the way to the outlet opposite- a new game, perhaps. King Candy couldn't remember any game being there before he'd taken over Sugar Rush. There were two figures standing around the entrance from what he could tell, and the dragon circled around the taller of the two on his tiny wings. A few seconds later, he was close enough to see properly, Wrong-Way was talking to a woman in white wielding a very sharp looking – and thankfully clean – axe. She nodded and smiled a pointy smile before _floating_ off with the dragon leading her somewhere.

"Huh," King Candy was a tad curious of the new game, if he was being truthful. The figure he could see from before was gone, but he ignored it, looking past to the scrolling letters above the entrance. "Now playing…Carne —Ouch!" Something practically smashed into him, nearly pushing him over. "Hey, watch where you're going!" He kept his arms out in front of him to make sure whatever it was had moved away so he could get a good look at it. It was…certainly something.

The first thing he noticed were the teeth, dozens of shark-like teeth in his red ringed mouth, pulled up into a grin that took up most of his completely white face, save for the purple in his eyelids. Six bells spun on his purple and gold collar, well, his collar if he had a body, but only the bells on his split hat jingled, bright dots of multi-coloured sparkles pouring out from beneath him, fading as they fell. He was a little bigger than Sour Bill, at a guess, if Sour Bill could float, and was a messed up undead harlequin head! And thank Mod he wasn't!

Having lived the past year in such a happy and colourful place as Sugar Rush, something like _this _was definitely a change, and one King Candy hadn't exactly _wanted_ on his outing to Tapper's. Regardless, he still had to be polite, and tried a mix between a smile and a wince, forcing a laugh.

"Oh, haha, um…Hello there."

"Why look at that crown,

You must be a king.

Now let's get rid of that frown.

We've got just the thing."

Speaking in rhyme? That was different. He must've just been coded that way, or hadn't broken character yet because of just being plugged in.

"Yeth, I am a King Candy, the ruler to Thugar Rusthh. I would thay apologithe, but I'll be merciful thince you mutht be new. Who are you?"

The Clown—Joker—_thing _only smiled wider, as if that was actually possible, while his collar carried on spinning at a gentle enough pace_, _and King Candy briefly entertained that idea that it was the only thing keeping him up.

"I'm Umlaut the Jester,

Always loyal and true.

Our game opened today,

You should come visit us too."

Umlaut? Wasn't that a funny kinda letter with dots on the top? Well, _Mr__ Undead Jester Head _was probably too much of a mouthful. Partly to test his theory, and partly to get acquainted properly, King Candy latched onto one of Umlaut pointed collar edges and treated it as a handshake (the bell attached stayed silent, it must have been broken). He was almost a little disappointed when he stayed floating without missing a beat. At least that solved one thing- Umlaut wasn't a really morbid helicopter.

For what he assumed was a Bad Guy, he didn't seem so bad. Still, that offer to visit sounded off, no one just invited someone randomly to their game, especially not when they were new. Except for Felix, he'd always tried to be there to welcome new games to the arcade and invite them to his parties, or that new person—Sonic, who'd taken it upon himself to remind everyone to not be stupid and die in another game.

"Vithit your game? Whatever for? I'm thure you've already had plenty of vithitorth."

"Tonight we're having a party

Where the fun never ever ends.

You're welcome to join us,

Bring yourself and all of your friends."

However nice Umlaut might have been trying to sound, it didn't get through the scratchiness in his voice, like he'd been eating sandpaper.

"Hm, what ith your game about, exactly? And what will be at the party? I'm a king I have a very buthy thcedule y'know." Judging by his timing, King Candy presumed it to be a Halloween party, some other games hosted them, it was one of the only nights they had the time, with the arcade closing early. Umlaut gave him a look, like it was far too obvious what his game was about and why he should come to their party, or maybe he was just stalling so he could make up another rhyme.

"We've got clowns and a Freak Show,

And even a mime.

Come along to CarnEvil,

You'll have a wonderful time"

Oh, a Carnival themed game, there'd been one of those in the arcade before, and for Halloween parties King Candy could think of worse places to host one, namely that Zombie game next door. Even so, it wasn't worth undermining the effort he had taken to keep the other racers from leaving Sugar Rush very often, not for something as pointless as a party. Umlaut lowered himself a little, before handing him a golden coin that slid out between his teeth, and he pulled it out, looking it over: Admit One 1898 CarnEvil.

"Thank you, but I don't know if my thubjectth will want to go to thith party of yourth. You thee, we were only plugged in latht year; tho havn't celebrated Halloween before, and I don't think they'd want to thtart now. But I'll athk them, and then come back. Ith that ok?"

Umlaut looked very disheartened indeed, giving him that look again, though now it was more of a 'you've made me rhyme, all the time, and even so, you're gonna say no.' look than anything else. But he just nodded, rather than the potential alternative, like biting his face off.

"I suppose that's fine.

Think on it for a while,

I just know you'll fit right in

With your _sublime _sense of style."

"Good. I'll come back later." He wouldn't (there was his hour in Tapper's ruined), but if the party was so important then Umlaut could just find someone else and not come bothering him. Umlaut nodded again, and waved him off with another grin and a flick of one of his collar points.

It was for the best that he go back to Sugar Rush for tonight. There was always another day he could go to Tapper's. That party would just be a boring waste of time. No matter how much he thought he could fit in with their similar colour schemes… fit in…

As he was about to step through the entrance to Sugar Rush, King Candy got it.

"Wait a thecond…Did he jutht call me a freak?!"

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Hehe, Umlaut you troll, and we love you for it :3 Now, I'd like to say that I will be writing a sequel to this, where King Candy and the Sugar Rush Racers do end up going to CarnEvil for the party, and stuff goes down ^_^ If you've actually played Carnevil I'd love to hear some suggestions, though I have the basic structure laid out :)


End file.
